The Farmlands

Journal, Twelfth Entry

A Curious Creature in a Strange Land

The battle with Carrabosse had taken a hefty toll upon our group. We were three men down:
Kolobok, slayed by our friend Kala; Kala, the traitor, slayed by Grumpuddle in vengeance; and Kamien, who had been greatly wounded in the final battle. Confined to a bed for days, we wondered if he would ever awaken. His sword arm was lost in the battle: severely burned and lacerated, I am told he would've been in constant agony if the arm had not been amputated. Wilheim had replaced it with a wooden replica which, thanks to his magicks, would work just as well as his old arm when Kamien awoke. He finally did one morning, after sharing a final conversation with Varjo in a vision, and was greatly surprised by his new limb. However, this turned out to be a blessing. For Wilheim led Kamien underneath the castle to a long neglected compartment, the former domicile of the Knight of Briars: a mysterious champion who came to the city long ago to study his crafts, apparently the ways of the mage and warrior both, and who disappeared as suddenly as he had come. He had left his armour and sword though, but alas, none could weild the fine things. For the sword's hilt was covered in magical briars that could pierce armored gauntlets, the the armour would simply fall off anyone who tried to wear it. Kamien's new arm could bear the thorns easily though, and somehow his command of the blade allowed him to wear the armour as well. Thus did Wilheim deem Kamien the new Knight of Briars, both in reward for his ability to weild the armamants and his bravery in defending the city, and charged him with discovering the fate of his predecessor. We were overjoyed to be reunited with our friend, but it was a bittersweet moment still. For we had finally received word from Johan, our commander, who congratulated our victories but asked us to meet him in the kingdom of Stolzreich as we continued our campaign against the vile Pale Queen. Thus did we finally depart Dornstadt, the Kingdom of Briars, and a place I know I certainly came to regard as a second home. Maybe after all this is over, I can retire there, and live out my days as a rich old hermit, letting others strum their lute's for a change... We bid our sad farewells, to the King and Queen, to Jack Nimble, and Brummig, our dear friend, who believed his role fulfilled in our party and wished to stay behind, to catch up with his brother and help rebuild the kingdom. However, Johan's summons would have to wait, for Grumpuddle was determined to fulfil a different task. According to him, Kolobok was not necessarily dead. Apparently, in the past Kolobok's soul would travel back to the oven he was originally cooked in if his physical body was ever destroyed. Grumpuddle could feel his friend's presence, and his location was not far out of our way. However, Kolobok had always spoken in hushed whispers of the Baker's that had created him. Kolobok was indeed a mighty warrior, a well travelled fellow who had no doubt seen unnamable beasts and terrors in the forests of Avalon. His fear of the Baker's did not bode well.

Grumpuddle led us on to our friend's rescue, and on our journey we came across many strange sights. The forest around us was unnervingly empty and quiet, but when finally we did come across signs of life, they were far from anything we expected. A Gingerbread Elk bobbed its way towards us, sniffing and snorting, staring at us innocently with gum drop eyes. Gingerbread Birds settled in trees, and Gingerbread Rabbits scurried past, sent running by Gingerbread Foxes on the prowl. We were greatly puzzled by these sights, but soon such things fled our minds, for a ways down the path we spied two strange figures. Large and lumbering, the Gingerbread fellows we spotted looked of similar make to Kolobok, save for the strange lack of any facial features. We became embattled with the fellows briefly, but Piknik and Thumbelina used their magicks to calm the poor brutes, hoping to discover their purpose and perhaps clues to Kolobok's whereabouts. With extra icing carried in Grumpuddle's sadle (in case of emergencies) we drew a mouth on one of the brutes and began to question him. He led us back to his home, the Farmlands, home of the strange Bakers. Druidic runes and symbols littered that odd, ramshackle place. More of Kolobok's faceless brothers wandered the grounds, staves in hand, guarding Gingerbread Chicken coups and patrolling the gardens. As we spied the land in front of us, we did finally discover Kolobok's whereabouts: giving the Gingerbread Ox a break, poor Kolobok and another one of his brothers (noticeably thinner, and curiously having a face like Kolobok) was plowing the fields. Our group was fractured, arguing over how to go about our friend's rescue. Many plans went in motion simultaneously, and the Farmlands descended into chaos. Thumbelina instantly teleported to Kolobok's position, asking him what she could do to help. Kolobok (never a subtle fellow) was emboldened by his friend's presence, and threw the plow at his brother, knocked over the Ginger Bread Ox, and literally tried to just run away. He got about, oh, ten, maybe twelve feet, before the guards surrounded him and beat him with their staves. The rest of our group jumped to send their aid, but I must admit, the rescue was just a mess. Mayhaps we were a bit rusty after our respite in Dornstadt. Carrabosse had taken a lot out of us after all. I'm reasonably sure that half of us had concussions. I truly couldn't tell you how we did it, but Kolobok was returned to our ranks and reunited with Grumpuddle, a mess of bungling Gingerbread Guards and demolished barrels, bushels and vegetables left in our wake. It was around this time though that we realized we were missing Piknik, who had trotted up to the Baker's house in order to give the couple a stern talking to. We rushed up the hill to stop the poor fool, but alas we were too late. We crammed inside the small cabin just as Piknik began his lecture, but Kolobok's father proved an equally diseased mind, and a strange debate ensued. Enraged at our intrusion on their property and Kolobok's repeated attempts at escape, the couple attacked us, and with a crack of a strange golden whip, Kolobok's father summoned several guards to their side. Kolobok had been greatly distressed at the Farmland's state. Things had changed greatly since his last escape, and his brothers were just as much a surprise to him as they were to us. How could his parents' powers have increased so drastically since last he saw them? Kolobok's mother was the first to fall in our battle and, deeply grieved, his father rushed to her side as she fell. Wounded himself, they fell into a great bubbling vat of Gingerbread mix. But alas, this was not the end of our troubles. For out of the churning ooze they burst forth as a terrible conglomerate beast. One head a malformed chariacture of Kolobok's father, the other the melted visage of his mother, the beast lumbered forth, candy cane scythe in hand and calling for Kolobok's blood. After a hefty struggle the beast was defeated, but Kolobok was greatly disturbed. For all their flaws they were still his parents. It was then that we were introduced to Soren, Kolobok's thin brother (who bore him no malice for the plow diversion thankfully). It was he who solved the many mysteries of the Farmlands for us: the Baker's powers had been enhanced by a strange book, a black tome stolen from Czernobog's library. For the book was a compendium of ancient alchemic lore and recipe's, having been confiscated by the Dark Lord's agents for its heathen contents. The book was apparently a gift to the Bakers from a mysterious hooded figure, along with the golden whip that controlled the guards. Soren then tossed the whip into the vat of Gingerbread mix, watching as it melted away. With the whip gone, Kolobok's brothers were free of its spell. We then ran about the place, using Grumpuddle's extra icing to give the guards faces for the first time. As the eldest, Kolobok held authority over the Farmlands, a responsibility he passed on to Soren. Though his parents were no more, Kolobok now had a legion of brothers he could come home to, all which cheered his name as we took our leave for Stolzreich...