Piknik the Bold

Piknik the Bold

Dearest Flungdo,

Thank you so much for allowing me to write you a letter. My name is
PIKNIK THE BOOOOOOOOOLD. (Of the julgeshire bolds) In various lands I
am know by my palatial and titles: Sorcerer of Stinky swamps, lord of
the little village of iforgot, duke of the dung plie (the one out back
behind the rolling field in) High magician of the order of unlikly,
and Gary.

I think it does not break humbility if I say that I am the most
powerful wizard in Guglspit, which as everyone knows is three times
the size of Bliggerblat, and far more notable than the bladdylands of
glumperwik. Many a times have I struck fear into the heart of an evil
doing flabit. Whats that? You don't know what a flabit is you say? A
flabit is a feirce toothybeast twice the size of a blundercow which as
all people know is terifyingly large not to meantion tender and
delicious when cooked with capers and a little salt and a tasty side
of carrots, but not radishes. NEVER TRUST THE RADDISHES. (They're
always listening) ..... addhthisohishouteheour... this is me writing
in code so the raddishes cant hear us, (or leeks, theyre just as bad
as the radishes, if not a bit more aromatic- though quite tasty when
properly blanched) Should you avoid sudden death by raddish I suggest
a spinach patte of blundercow covered in a slightly juiced eel, which
as every one knows is only availble in plontyport, where the Wizard of
Whatzisname lived. I'm fairly sure he's my cousin, or my dentist. One
of those.

Either way he's by far the best wizard in the northern regions, not
counting the imaginary sorcerer of scarry (Who is of course
disqualified from such measurements on account of being imaginary), or
Pikinik the bold, who is a facinatingly notable wizard of the jugshire
bolds who is by far the most powerful wizard in Guglspit. Glugspit
being of course half the size of Blunderphalt, as everyone knows so
one hardly needs to say it, unless someone didn't know it. Did you
know the size of blunderphlat? Well now you do. (Six fladderbliks...
don't forget)

You being of a most rotund intelegence, Glunbo, will know of course
that it is rare indeed to find a supreem sorcerer who can bend the
universe to his will and properly knows how to season blundercow with
radishes (evil creatures) and capers, which of course is the
qualification to pass the unpassable test of unpasableness to obtain
the supreem sorcerers handbook (Copyright Piknik the bold 1455) As the
only qualified sorcerer to do so I gladly give you my signature for
you to share with my adoring fans. (Here picknic has smashed the body
of a beatle where his signature would be).

Sincerely yours

SorcererofStinkyswampslordofthelittlevillageofiforgotdukeofthedungplie(the
one out back behind the rolling field
in)Highmagicianoftheorderofunlikly, and.... Gary